When we began homeschooling almost 20 years ago, the idea of Courtship was big.  The concept is noble.  If you protect your children’s hearts from breakup they will be more pure and whole for their spouse one day.  If these children only have one relationship in their lives, then they won’t have so much emotional baggage to deal with and their marriage should be stronger.

It sounds great in theory.  But years later it wasn’t working.  Many of the young ladies eagerly accepted their father’s leadership but were finding themselves single into their 30s and beyond.

So why did this beautiful idea fail?  I don’t have all the answers, but I awoke this morning with a curious question on my mind.  Have we taught our children to be stingy with their love?

God’s love is a beautiful thing; a thing meant to be shared generously.  Granted, purity is His idea and a worthy pursuit.  I am not talking about living like the world does in regard to unmerited intimacy.

Today I think the idea of courtship is too self-focused.  And that is not the way Jesus asked us to live our lives.  We are to love others with all the love God gives us after we have loved Him wholly.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers or to be an expert on the situation.  My teenage children are not married.  We have had many bumps on this road: when your children’s hearts get broken, it hurts a mama.

God is sovereign.  And He is the expert with all the answers for each of our children and their relationships both with friend, spouses, and Himself.  Ultimately my children’s relationship with God is the one I pray to be strengthened and made more intimate.  I’m sure this walk is different for every human being.  I am so thankful that God walks with us to give us wisdom and understanding.

I hope by sharing this one question I woke with, that I have helped someone gain a better focus.  To God be the Glory.



2 thoughts on “Courtship

  1. Angela Pea says:

    YES!!! Yes exactly, especially to the thought about teaching our children to be stingy with their love. Celibacy before marriage is to be taught and encouraged, but our kids need to learn how to love others wholeheartedly. Yes, their hearts will be bruised, maybe broken, and those things are sharp wounds to our Mothers’ hearts. When it happens, we are offered yet another opportunity to love our kids without reserve; to teach them about forgiveness; to let them develop emotional survival skills; and lead them to discover just how strong and courageous they can be.

    And? broken hearts are a wonderful excuse for the whole family to devour homemade macaroni and cheese, brownies and ice cream.

    Liked by 1 person

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